Flyin' High - NOT our last adventure

Yesterday marked a milestone in our journey as it was my last day of work before taking leave for MJ’s surgery. I found it to be bittersweet of course. I am grateful for the time off and the insistence from my colleagues to not even think about work and just take care of my family. But as I packed up my things and prepared for my 6 week absence I found myself almost not wanting to leave. I knew the second I walked out that door there would be no more distraction to help me escape from the reality of what we are facing. This was it. It was time to face everything head on and focus completely on MJ with absolutely no distractions.

All week long I have been in “preparation mode” making to do lists and trying to complete them. Even on the way home from work yesterday I stopped and ran an errand, and made a phone call in the driveway as I was waiting for Dan and the kids to join me so we could pick up some dinner. Are all of the things I am doing things that need to be done? Only some of them. I have this need to keep busy and check things off our list so I can feel prepared for what is coming. Again – distraction.  In reality there is nothing that can truly prepare you for watching your child go through major surgery with risks and seeing them in pain.

This weekend needed to be all about our family. No phone calls, no errands, no to do lists. Just family. Soaking up the time we have left before we all go through the tunnel of fear in the week ahead. We purposely scheduled MJ’s surgery for after this weekend. I remember sitting in the surgeon’s office and they asked when we wanted to schedule. I looked at my calendar and knew that today (2/23) was the Buckeye AirShow and MJ would love it. We had planned to take him. So I asked if we could do it after – I knew it would be a special time for our family to just enjoy each other. In a way I wanted MJ to have one last thrilling and happy adventure before he goes through a journey of pain and anguish.

Yes – today was all about our boys, about our family. There were planes, helicopters, emergency vehicles, police vehicles, music, dancing and the boys had a blast. They loved looking at the planes on the ground, watching them fly around and the helicopters going up and down giving people rides..

I realized today as I was watching the boys enjoy the planes that after surgery MJ won’t be able to enjoy watching planes the way he did today – the way he always looks up in the sky when he sees a contrail and talks to Dan about the science of what a contrail is.  It is a common side effect after surgery that you cannot flex your neck in the same way because of the lack of bone protecting the brain and the pain it can cause. It’s a shame that sometimes we take things for granted until we are faced with such trials.

I am so grateful we did this today and that we were able to schedule the surgery around it. I am so glad I was able to give my baby one last adventure that he will remember – that we will all remember – before his little life gets flipped upside down. He may not be able to flex his neck and look up at the planes the same way he did today – but as I promised him today – someday we will fly high in the sky and take a ride in a helicopter – and for another brief moment toss all of those worries aside for his next adventure.