Words

Ups and downs. The past couple of weeks have been full of them. Having 3 weeks to “wait” for a brain surgery is both a blessing and a curse. Distractions such as work and daily tasks of life have been very helpful. But when it comes down to it – you get moments where life slows down, the distractions fade away, and reality sets in. My sweet 5 year old boy is about to have brain surgery.

I have to keep it together for MJ. I need to be strong for him. But it takes everything I have to keep it together at the times I need to keep it together.  So when he is not around – when I am alone, or MJ is in bed it just boils over: my sadness, my pain for him, my fears. It comes bubbling to the surface and consumes me.

What I have realized is that in order to be strong for the one I need to be strong for I have to release the emotions somewhere. I need to allow myself to feel the emotions I need to feel to get through this. Honestly it is not something I am used to doing. I am usually the one taking care of things, taking care of other’s needs, being there for everyone else…being the “strong” one.  So the thought of allowing myself to just cry, or lose it in front of a friend – it is terrifying.

But God knows how to get to me. He puts the right people in my life and gives them the right words – just what I need to hang on and keep going. Then he plays them in my head over and over in my weak moments –and it gives me something to hold on to.

These are some of the words that many of you have spoken to me in the last few weeks that have stuck with me. God literally brings these words to the front of my mind just when I need them. He has used all of you to encourage my heart.

There is a reason God gave you guys to MJ as parents – you have something he needs.

I see he has strength in him just like his mom.

You guys are such amazing parents.

Thank you for allowing us to pray with you.

Thanks for allowing me to join you on this journey.

You are loved. You are blessed.

I don’t know how you all are doing it – you are so courageous.

It is such an honor to pray for you. Thank you so much for the updates and sharing your story with all of us.

So what I want to say to all of you is this. Don’t ever think for a second that what you feel is a “simple” word of encouragement is not enough. Don’t underestimate the power of your words. I cannot tell you enough how many times the last few weeks your words have given me something to hang on to.

Always speak from your heart because you never know how God is going to use your words in people’s lives. Each and every one of you is so special to our family, and your encouragement means the world to us.

God Bless you all.