I was thinking of that packet lately. Our Autism
Information packet we got from the doctor last year was overwhelming but one of the first things that I found in it/read has stuck
with me through this entire first year. It is a poem called "Welcome to Holland". I think it does
a great job of describing the feelings of parents who discover their child has
special needs.
It was written by an author Emily Perl Kingsley who joined the Sesame
Street team in 1970 and has been writing for the show ever since.
Kingsley has written over 20 children's books, hundreds of Sesame songs, and
two Sesame home video releases (Elmo Learns to Share and Elmo Says BOO!). She has won 12 Emmys and 9 nominations through
her work with Sesame Street, three EDIs (Equality, Dignity, Independence Award)
and a Grand EDI from Easter Seals, and an award from the National Theatre of
the Deaf. She has a son with special
needs and as she explained in an interview I read – this poem sort of wrote
itself when she was counseling families of other special needs children.
In 2004, Will Livingston wrote a song loosely based on the
story, also titled "Welcome to Holland". You can click the link at
the end of this post to play his song.
The hardest part for me is not that I can’t find the beauty
in “Holland”. We watch many of our family and friends enjoy “Italy" and the most difficult part for me is we were supposed to go to "Italy" too, but we are not. You will understand after you read the poem. 
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
Emily Perl Kingsley.
©1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All
rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the
experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who
have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it
would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a
fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your
wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice.
You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives.
You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The
stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean
Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've
dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed
in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a
horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease.
It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must
learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would
never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy,
less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch
your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has
windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...
and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for
the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to
go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...
because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you
didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very
lovely things ... about Holland.
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