The Other Side

Preface: Some of you may already see that this is a blog/story about Autism and not want to read just one more story or parent advocating for their child or children on the spectrum. Those that know me understand I am not one to push an agenda on anyone. But I ask you this as my friends – please read this. Because for every overcharged, off the charts, super pushy advocate you may have read about or come across there are real stories, real families, and real struggles from thousands of people and families who struggle in silence. Thank you and God Bless.

For days I have been trying to decide how I feel about today. So many people out there in my shoes are choosing to spread the word, create awareness, even celebrate….I just don’t know that I am there yet.

Today is World Autism Awareness Day.

This is the first time we have been on this side of the “awareness”. A year ago (although we had strong indications) we didn’t know we were part of the growing Autism family. What we knew the past couple of years is that our oldest and dear precious child MJ was struggling, and everything we were doing including incessant prayer wasn’t “fixing” the situation.

Before Autism touched our lives we were just like many of you. We didn’t understand the seemingly epidemic, we didn’t understand the struggles, and we certainly did not understand so many parents feeling the need to advocate or bring “awareness” to their child’s condition. We did not even begin to know or understand Autism and how it can affect families. We didn’t know Autism. We just knew our little boy was struggling with something and we needed help.

MJ was pre-diagnosed with Autism in July 2012 and officially diagnosed with Autism in September 2012. He was diagnosed by the Development Pediatrician at one of the best pediatric neurology clinics in the country: Barrow’s @ Phoenix Children’s Hospital. I tell you this because there are many families who seem to be confused by his diagnosis…even questioning it. Yes, MJ is Autistic. He does not have Aspergers or PDDNOS (Pervasive Development Disorder not otherwise specified).  He is high functioning, but he has Autism.

Why does MJ to many of you seem like he is “normal” or “typical”? Autism has several different levels of severity, with several different symptoms, and it can affect every child differently. It is a very mysterious, confusing, frustrating, and heart breaking disorder. The doctor told us he is high functioning because we work very hard every day (even before his diagnosis) and God has blessed us in many ways being able to help MJ improve. She told us he absolutely has Autism and that his high function is "a testament to your parenting". We call it a testament to God's blessing in our life.

If I could have all of you live in our shoes for 2 weeks (or more) and see our struggles I would. There are things that happen in our daily lives that you never see. There are struggles we deal with every day that we work very hard to manage to help MJ through life. For so very long I have wanted to talk to all of you about it. But when I get myself to “make the list” of our struggles it just overwhelms me with emotion.

I am not here to advocate or be an activist. I just want people to understand the struggles, and understand Autism is a real condition with very sad and silent struggles. I am just a mom who is now on the other side sharing her story, sharing MJ’s story.

Tomorrow I want to share with you our daily struggles so you can get an idea of what families go through – what our family goes through. These silent struggles often happen behind closed doors.

I pray that sharing our story will simply bring understanding, compassion, and possibly comfort to others who may be struggling as well.