When I have looked for employment I have tried to have realistic expectations of the application process. I know there are many candidates to compete with and my resume may never get to the “top” of the pile simply because there were so many candidates/applications. So the times I got an interview I was confident and excited because I felt like the hard part (just getting your resume chosen) was over.
When I started (finally!) getting calls for interviews I had the mindset of “I have never been turned down once I get an interview! No problem! Smooth sailing!”…Yes…before this stint of unemployment, I have never been turned down for a position that I have interviewed for…never! Speaking to people and selling myself must come naturally to me (don’t ask me how because overall I can be quite shy!). I have a good resume and written recommendations from previous (high level) supervisors and coworkers.
Yet, despite my efforts, the past few months I have gotten turned down by 4-5 companies after an interview. The first couple of rejections were extremely hard on me, and probably a bit of an ego check. I just didn’t get it. Of course naturally I had to rationalize their decision to make myself feel better...and usually I came to the conclusion “I am probably over-qualified or they just don’t think they can afford me or that I will stick around.”...Whoa… ego check. In order to deal with the rejection I really started praying and asking God why. Why would He put me through these interviews and the false hope and the embarrassment? Why would He tease me with the hope of getting out of our tough economic situation (like dangling a carrot in front of a horse and pulling it away).
Then my prayers and my heart started changing. Why wouldn’t God put me through these interviews and rejections?
Isaiah 55:8-9 (NKJV)
8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. 9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts
Even if things are happening that I may at first perceive as “bad” or negative, does that mean God isn’t working in my life? Absolutely not! There are many times that God uses things in our life that are not what we would consider the greatest, so that we can grow ourselves, as well as grow closer to Him. So, I began to ask God (like I have in the past, but seem to forget) “What can I learn from this Lord? What can I get out of this Lord?” I realized that even though these rejections after interviews may have at first seemed like a disappointment, I could see where God was helping me brush up on my skills and preparing me for bigger things. Suddenly a weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
Romans 8:28 (NKJV)
28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
So here I am after months of rejections and confusion, at my old company American Express as a contractor. I just completed a final interview for an Executive Assistant position as a full time permanent employee. This is the same/similar role I was in when I was laid off exactly 3 years ago.
Funny how in hindsight you can see where if God didn’t allow things to happen in a certain way, you wouldn’t be where you are today. I love being able to look back and see all of the dots of God’s handiwork suddenly connect! It WAS in His hands. It IS in His hands. It has ALWAYS been in His hands. So I needed to hand it all over to Him, and trust in that.
Has the journey to get here been easy? No. Does God have a bigger plan? Yes. It is my job to trust in that, and know that God will always do things for the good of those that love him. It may be tough love, but that is what makes it Agape Love!
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