Gift of God

Finally, after a year and a half of trying, and fertility treatments and within 2 months of preparing our field, we were very blessed in April of 2007 to find out we were expecting our first born. The treatments went flawlessly, even exceeding the doctor’s expectations for how well and how quickly it worked. It was official; we were going to be parents on or around January 26, 2008. Our field was getting rain.

My nine(ish) months of pregnancy of our first born went well. I only had very mild symptoms and I absolutely loved being pregnant. I will never forget the first time I felt the baby move. We were on the road in Heber as we were spending the weekend at our family cabin. I was about 17 weeks pregnant, and all of a sudden it felt like something did a summersault inside my tummy. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. Another moment I will never forget was when we were in our gender ultrasound and we found out it was a boy. Seeing the pride and excitement on my husband’s face was priceless. We hadn’t settled on a name yet, but in the car on the way home from the ultrasound Dan looked right at me and said “I’ve got it. His name should be “M.J.” …. I felt the same way; it was perfect. It was like we just “met” him and we knew he was meant to be an M.J. {his true name is omitted in order to practice internet safety for our children}

Months went on, and I felt great. I even managed (somehow) to only gain very minimal weight. We went in for a routine ultrasound around 32 weeks and they found the cord wrapped around M.J.’s neck. It is not uncommon, but this far into a pregnancy babies do not have much room to move and maneuver, so there was concern that he could tangle himself worse and put himself under stress. I was scheduled for NST (Non Stress Tests) weekly to monitor his heart and movements.  Week 33 he was fine, week 34 he was fine.

I hit 35 weeks and I began to feel very tired, and very sore. I knew he was moving so he was fine, and figured I was just getting to the home stretch that everyone tells me is the “uncomfortable phase”. It was the week before Christmas 2007 and I was in a Christmas musical production at church on Sunday (12/23). Everyone warned me not to overdo it and relax, but me being the Worship Leader’s assistant, and being so dedicated to the Lord’s work I told them I would be fine and proceeded to enjoy myself being involved in the program. Halfway through the program when the pastor was giving a short message I began to feel extremely exhausted, I got flush, and I was in a lot of pain. I remember going to the restroom and bending over in pain just praying out loud “Lord, please don’t let me go into labor. Not yet… not now!”

That afternoon we went home and I was exhausted. I crashed on the couch for probably over an hour. I woke up feeling amazing. He heard my prayer! I felt refreshed, I had energy! I even had motivation to get up and make cookies that evening. 

I remember sleeping well that night, and even thinking nothing of going into work. After all I was only 35 weeks. I must have just overdone it during the weekend (I told myself). It was Monday, Christmas eve at work and it was very quiet. I was very grateful because throughout the morning I increasingly got more pain. I was grateful when the manager told everyone that we could leave at noon since it was slow and the day before Christmas. I was more than ready to go home. Sparing you any details, let’s just say I got concerned and decided I needed to call the doctor as soon as I got home. I called Dan on the way home and while I was in the car I explained to him how I was feeling. I didn’t even make it 3 or 4 blocks from work when my water broke in the car. I stopped Dan mid-sentence and told him to meet me at the hospital. I got to the hospital about 12:30pm. My labor was quick, especially for a first baby. I remember the nurse checked me at one point and told me that I had a few more hours to go, that the doctor was going to another birth at a different hospital before she came to deliver M.J. Within 45 minute after that I will never forget the look on the nurse’s face when she realized that I was moments away from delivering and she had to race to get the doctor to turn around and come to my hospital first. What she predicted would take a few more hours (a normal timeframe for a first baby) took almost less than an hour.  He was ready and with M.J. being a premature baby at 35 weeks they needed the doctor ASAP.

It seemed like it took forever for the doctor to get there, although in reality it was probably only about 20-25 minutes. I remember her racing in, and literally throwing on the gown and gloves while she was already instructing the nurse what to do. Another moment I will never forget is when the doctor got her first good glimpse of M.J.’s head. She got a look of fear in her eyes yelled to STOP PUSHING and literally turned around for tools as if life depended on it. Dan didn’t get to cut the cord, and M.J. never cried when he came out. They wouldn’t tell us what was going on but I knew without hearing him cry and the nurses whisked him over to the table, put oxygen on him and just said “C’mon baby….C’mon baby”….then we heard a tiny whimper, and coughing. He never did fully cry, but he was okay. What we learned later was that the cord was around M.J.’s neck 3 times and cut off his oxygen supply when he was delivered. The doctor cut (the cord) him free to save him, and the nurses resuscitated him with the oxygen, etc.



A picture of MJ when he came home from NICU weighing 5 lbs 1 oz.

He was born at 9:34pm (only 9 hours of labor). Born at 35 weeks, 2 days – he was 6 lbs, 4 oz and 19 ¼ inches. He had a rough start into the world. He was born face up, and he had severe facial bruising. Because of the extra red blood cells from the bruising and the prematurity he ended up with severe jaundice and spent a day and a half in NICU. During his stint with jaundice he got down to 5 lbs 1 oz. He was so tiny we actually had to go out and get preemie clothes for him to wear for the first week or two. Yes, he had a rough start – but he was here – and he was healthy – and we were oh so grateful! God is so good. He gave us the most amazing blessing – M.J. – Our “Gift of God”.

Celebrate

God always provides the right amount of encouragement and good news just when you need it. We got some good news today that is a perfect Christmas present from God, and we are so grateful. For the first time Dan and I were able to look at each other with peace and joy and say..this is going to be the best Christmas in three years.


We decided we needed to celebrate with the family. We took the boys out for yogurt, and then drove around to look at Christmas lights. It was great family time, and although it may be just some yogurt and a drive that will be a day we will remember for a very long time.

Just remember to celebrate, and when you do so, celebrate with family and friends. It is easy to get caught up in the bad moments, the tough times. What makes life wonderful is when you recognize the blessing you do have, take the time to be grateful for them, and celebrate!


God Bless!

Preparing for Rain

When Dan and I got married in 2005, we knew there was a slight possibility, because of a condition that I have, that we would not be able to have children. Knowing of the possible difficult road ahead, we bathed it in prayer for months before we started “trying”.  There were months that were heartbreaking, and full of fear of seeing that negative test once again. I was terrified of the thought of never getting the opportunity to be a mother.  But we knew that no matter what the outcome, that it was God’s plan. We knew that somehow that God would prepare us for whatever road was ahead of us, with or without children.  

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

We had purchased a 4 bedroom house the year after we got married in anticipation of growing our family. We had even planned out which bedroom was going to be the “baby’s room”. But we still had our moments of discouragement and hopelessness, questioning whether or not God had parenthood in our future. There were nights I walked by that room, or would walk into it and just stare at the walls imagining little baby things and just praying to God that he would provide the opportunity for us to be parents. After months it just wasn’t happening, and we were getting tired and weary of letting our hopes up.

One night we were watching a movie at home:  “Facing the Giants”, a football movie (or so we thought). A movie that we were hoping could get our minds off of our current reality. It turned out that one of the story lines was about the high school football coach and his wife suffering from infertility. Seriously…can we not get away from this? There were pieces to that movie that we could relate to so closely and it took over our emotions. There was one particular line/scene in the movie that stuck out to both of us, like it was a divine message directly to us. I didn’t know where to go with it, but we felt God was definitely working something. The line(s) were (relating to the coach’s discouragement with what his purpose was):

Coach Taylor:                          (Surprised) Mr. Bridges!

Mr. Bridges :                           Revelation Chapter 3 says: We serve a God that opens doors that no one can shut, and he shuts doors that no one can open.

He says: Behold, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and not denied my name.

Coach Taylor, the Lord is not through with you yet. You still have an open door here, and until the Lord moves you, you’re to bloom right where you’re planted…

I just felt led to come and tell you that today. (leaves the office)

Coach Taylor:                          (Stands up and runs after Bridges) Mr. Bridges! Do you  

believe God told you to come tell me that?

Mr. Bridges:                            I do.

Coach Taylor               :           I admit to you I have been struggling. But I’ve also been

praying. I just don’t see Him at work here.

Mr. Bridges                 :           Grant. I heard a story about two farmers who desperately

needed rain. And both of them prayed for rain, but only one of them went out and prepared his field to receive it. Which do you think trusted God to send the rain?

Within hours after that movie I see Dan moving things around in the spare bedroom, and asking me about baby room colors, etc. I thought he was crazy. “Why are you doing this?”…”We are not pregnant yet, we don’t even know when/if it is going to happen?”…..to which Dan looked at me with a huge smile and amazing conviction “I am preparing our field.” ….It wasn’t just a movie to get our minds off of things. God was using it to remind us we needed to have faith. 

Psalm 27:14 (NIV)
¹⁴ Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Our Family

It occurred to me the other day when I was looking at our newest family photos that we never really have officially introduced our family to all of you. It’s been a bit of a difficult decision to post pictures of the kids online (outside of FB with privacy settings). As we all know you can never be too careful with information you put out on the internet, but at the same time we want you to feel a part of our family. We are writing this blog to share our journey with you hoping you can get encouragement out of it and our kids are obviously a huge part of that journey. So, what we have decided is to share them with you in a way that will let you “in” to more of our lives, while still watching out for the safety of the kids. That being said, we’ll be using nicknames for them on the blog. I may speak in generalities about their school, or people in their life, but trust me…all of the stories (no matter how crazy they may seem sometimes LOL) are true ;).

Some of you may know us in person, but those who don’t we would like you to meet our family :).

So here we are just a few weeks ago with an amazing friend Jenn as our photographer.

Becky – I am in the orange of course holding our little one “J.R.”. Dan and I have been married for almost 7 years (just wait until you hear how we met…maybe a post for February…) and we have 2 wonderful boys! What am I thinking right there? How blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband who is a wonderful father to our two amazing boys. I don’t know how I ever lived without any of them!

Dan – My husband of course, in the blue polo next to me. He is holding our oldest “M.J.” Dan is an amazing husband and father. He loves us, cares for us, protects us, encourages us, and is the wonderful spiritual leader in our home!

M.J. – He is on the right in blue. He is our oldest, will be 4 years old in December. Boy did we have to work for him (blog on that soon around his birthday!). This picture shows their personalities quite well actually. M.J. is silly, happy, smart beyond his years, sensitive, timid, and shy. He loves cars, reading, music and soaking in all he can about the world around him.

J.R. – He is on the left in orange. He is our youngest boy, about 19 months in this pic. As you can see he is outgoing, adventurous, tough, never slows down and very happy. Right now he likes anything his brother does, and wants to be just like him. I would have to say though that J.R.’s favorite things are animals, bananas, and tormenting his older brother (Yes!! He is a little bully! LOL)

So that’s us. Our family of four. We do everything we can to (as they say) “Live Well, Laugh Often, and Love Much”. Although unplanned, the time we have had home together the last three years have been priceless. The journey God is bringing us through has built our family and the way we live to what it is today and we wouldn’t change it for the world!

We look forward to continuing to share our journey of Living Hope with you.



P.S. It was always my dream to have family photos done professionally outdoors and Jenn was referred to us by a mutual friend last year. She has done our family photos for 2 years now and she is amazing! She is so easy going, great with kids, flexible, and so talented. She has great rates too. If you are in the west valley in AZ you need to check her out here!

Let my life be an offering

I was in the process of writing a different post for today, but there is something else I need to share with you first.


One of the reasons Dan and I knew God put us together was because we both have such a huge heart for people and for the Lord’s work. You see, individually we both felt the Lord tugging on our hearts but didn’t know how to pursue it. There was something confusing and yet scary about following God’s lead into the “unknown”. But something about Dan and I being together was the one “thing” that made it seem so easy…so exciting. It is like God gave us to each other knowing we could support, encourage, and feed off of each other’s enthusiasm for His work. I will never forget our conversation in the kitchen only a couple months after we were married when I encouraged Dan to follow through on his dream of going to seminary. Or the time we got a phone call from a friend of mine to help start a church in Glendale. There was never a doubt in our mind that God wanted us to do those things, and we knew He gave us each other to go through them together.

Dan and I understood that God was calling us to a bigger purpose than ourselves, and we have tried to take every opportunity we can to impact others for God. One thing that we have had the pleasure of experiencing through our journey is all different levels of relationships. Friendships, mentor relationships, leadership relationships, teachers, confidants, encouragers, and everything in between. It hasn’t always been easy. Sometimes we took leaps of faith that we knew if God didn’t catch us we were going to fall flat on our face. And sometimes we have had to make the choice to just follow His leading not knowing what would happen and trusting that He would use our gifts how He needed. God has helped us grow and blessed us tremendously through these experiences. Our prayer has always been that no matter what we endure or how much or how little we have to offer that it can be a blessing to all around us.

Has God ever brought people into your lives at just the right time? Or maybe they have been in your life for a long time, and God suddenly uses them at just the right time? I love it when you can see God at work.



This morning we were at church and we were sitting next to some friends. We have known these particular friends for a while and I personally have grown close to her quickly and easily (more on why later). It was towards the beginning of service when my friend leaned over handed me a slip of paper and said it was “for you”. I looked at her puzzled and she just said, “this is for you and we don’t want it to go anywhere else.” And she blew me a kiss. My husband looked at me confused and he could tell by the look in my eyes without even knowing what exactly it was that her (their) gesture had just made a huge impact on me (us). I had an indication of what it could be by something she said but without even looking I slipped the paper into my purse and we were invited to stand for our last worship song. I didn’t look at the paper, I didn’t have to look. The gesture itself was enough to send me into a tailspin of emotion. I couldn’t even sing. I just stood up and cried and thanked the Lord for His blessings and for this couple allowing God to work through them.

Still not even looking at the slip of paper I gave her a hug after service and thanked them for their gesture. She said that they had felt lead for quite some time to do something for someone but they weren’t quite sure of the Lord’s leading until this week God revealed to them to bless us. It didn’t surprise me that they have such amazing hearts and a willingness to show God’s love to others however they can. I said before Dan and I have been blessed with many different relationships. One thing about that is everyone is on a different point in their journey or walk with God. This couple….I don’t know how else to put it except…..they GET IT!!!! They get that Jesus love is for anyone and everyone. They get that we are put on this earth to glorify Him in EVERYTHING we do. They get that if God leads them to do something, no matter how big or small they may feel it is, that God wants them to follow through so He can use it for His glory. They GET IT! And that is why I love being around her. She challenges me to be a better person, a more loving person, a more faithful person, a more godly person…simply by being who she is IN CHRIST!

The gesture itself was enough to bless us (before we even opened it). We felt cared for, we felt loved, we felt important. Something we try so hard to help others feel. We got to the car and as we were driving home I took the slip of paper out and began to open it…though part of me was nervous and partially in disbelief (am I really worthy of any blessing Lord?). Dan and I knew this was God using our friends without a doubt. Have you ever had that feeling when you KNOW that God is right there with you and you are nervous, and wondering what He is doing? What was in the slip of paper confirmed our suspicion (although it was way beyond what we would have ever thought we would be worthy of). This may sound weird to some but bear with me….It was like God reached down and embodied her and said “here….I haven’t forgotten you. You are important to me. And I will take care of you.”……

We are so tremendously grateful to have these friends in our life who get it…they get us…they get our hearts…and they get the Lord’s leadings in their life!! Our friends didn’t have to do what they did. They didn’t have to follow that little tug in their hearts where God was telling them to do this. But they did, and they trusted that God would use it how He needed to bless the ones that needed to be blessed …through them.

My reason for sharing this? God uses people! God can use you! Remember no matter how big or small a gesture you may think, if you feel God leading you follow through and trust that He will use that gesture! You don’t always know what someone is going through, you don’t always know what is in their hearts, but if God is leading you to make a gesture TRUST in that. God will take care of the rest!

Let your life be an offering to Him, and you will be blessed in it as well.

Ephesians 5:2 (NIV)

2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Pruning

I have been meeting a lot of new friends lately, which has been such a blessing. Naturally what comes up in a conversation when you are getting to know someone is the simple stuff, you know the small talk. Do you have any kids? Are you from around here? What do you do for a living? … That last one is hard. How do you tell someone you have only know for a few days (maybe even a few minutes) that you don’t know exactly what you do/will do? Sure, I could take the easy route and say I am a stay at home mom, going to school, or the like….those things are true but that wouldn’t be completely authentic. Then the question comes up “What does your husband do?”….Well…… None of this is an easy answer for us right now. Neither of those questions have been an easy answer for quite some time.

The truth is I don’t know what I am going to do, what I want to do, or what God will lead me to do. I can tell you what my/our current “plan” is for the moment, but I can tell you that Dan and I have learned (the hard way) to never count on “our” plan always being His plan.

Our journey the last three years has been incredibly difficult in many ways. Do you have any idea what it is like to not be able to provide for your family? I am not talking about financially unorganized, lack of budget, can’t get my kid the top of the line (fill in the blank). I am talking doing everything you can in your power to do what is right: pray, apply for jobs, pray, interview, pray, go to school, pray, try to start a business just to get by, pray, apply for more jobs, pray, interview again, pray, rely on God, follow His lead…and yet….nothing. No job. No income. No one who (truly) understands. “Uh…NOT our plan Lord!”

This has been our life the last three years…and counting.  We are very responsible people who have had a horrible sequence of circumstances happen to us. How did we get to this place? You can read the beginning of it in my post here. We will be the first ones to tell you there have been millions of ways that we have been blessed and God has provided for us through this long journey of unemployment. We see the blessings and are so very grateful for where God has provided for us. But we are also human. There are everyday hardships, frustrations, let downs, disappointments, confusion, guilt, and fear. It wears on you. We do our best to manage our emotions and rely on God.

Matthew 6:31-33 (NIV)

31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

We still have moments. Lately I have had a lot of “those moments”. When you allow yourself to put some hope in an interview or a job application that you know you are perfect for (you have to put hope in it because you want to have faith God is in this and you want to claim it right?) then you get your third rejection in a week…it wears on you. When it is time to pay the bills and you see your savings account getting to scary levels…it wears on you. When your 3 ½ year old child asks you if you have the “checks” (WIC) to get groceries…it wears on you. When you can’t participate in activities and fellowship because it requires a fee…it wears on you. When you can’t financially support the ministries and organizations like you want to…it wears on you. When you see or hear people’s comments about the unemployed “taking advantage” of the system or “being irresponsible”…it wears on you. And when you are trying to build new relationships and you see that loving and compassionate (but speechless) look in the person’s eyes when you tell them you and your husband are unemployed…it wears on you.

The low moments can feel like a very shameful, lonely place. Yes..I have my moments where I just want to crawl into a corner and cry out to the Lord (and I do)…”Why God?”…”Why this?”…”Why now?”…”Why so long Lord?”. Then Dan and I will actually sit down together and talk about God and His promises. We think about the current happenings in our life and look for God in them.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

It doesn’t take long before we see that God is right here in all of it. Whether we understand it right now, we figure it out later, or maybe we never understand it…it is God’s plan for our lives. Our job is to do everything in our power to seek Him, praise Him, and glorify Him through all of our circumstances no matter how hard it may seem.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

We have family members who have been very close with us through our journey. They pray for us daily, they listen to our frustrations and concerns, and they are just amazing godly people. I love them dearly and look up to them for their courage in what they have gone through in their lives for the Lord, and yet what they say to us just amazes me.

Just the past couple of months, when it seems our journey has gotten to what sometimes feels like unbearable levels is when they say they see something in us that amazes and inspires them: Our faith. Through everything they know we have been through (and they are family they know more than anyone ever will) they have said we are an amazing inspiration to them because never once has our faith wavered, and we have allowed all of these circumstances to actually strengthen our faith and connection with the Lord….Just when you are at your peak of sadness and frustration God sends encouragement. When you hear someone tell you that you inspire them because of your faith in the Lord in spite of difficult circumstances and you are glorifying Him for others to see….THAT is when you know you are in God’s will!!!

We don’t know when this chapter will end, we don’t know where the road leads, we aren’t sure how much more heartache we will have to endure. What we do know is that God prunes areas of our life like a gardener to the vine, so that we may grow, become stronger, and produce more fruit for Him. If we are not connected to Him, and seeking His will in our lives, then we cease to show love, peace, faithfulness, joy, goodness, gentleness, patience, self-control, and kindness (the fruits of the spirit); and we cannot glorify Him.

"Dear Lord, this journey has not been easy for us. Our joy, patience, faith, and peace have been tested. There are good days and bad, and we know you are with us in all of those times. We want nothing more than to seek you, praise you, and glorify you Lord. If this journey of pruning is what it takes to make us more like your image so that we may win others to you, then prune away Lord! For nothing that we could ever go through can match the sacrifice of your son dying on the cross for our sins. We will joyfully endure the hard times you allow into our lives so that it can be used to bring others to know You! In Jesus name, Amen."

John 15:1-5 (NKJV)

1 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;[a] and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.



Transparency

I posted about a month ago that I haven’t been writing because of fear of letting people in to the true details of our lives. The things my husband and I have been through are things that we always vowed we would use to be a testimony to God, yet in the times that we are going through them we are scared to let people in. We tell ourselves – Well when this situation is over and we get to God’s blessings at the end of this journey THEN we can share it for God’s glory.

What about now? Are we really going to remember the hardest times and the way we felt and the thoughts we were going through in those tough moments when we are on the other side of that struggle and in the happy time? It’s reminds me of a mother who gives birth. She is so happy to have that sweet baby in her arms all of the pain and discomfort she went through for those 9 months just slips away into a place of bliss. I don’t want that to happen here, I don’t want to forget the struggles or the pain. Why? Because if all I shared are the good times, the blessings, the light after the tunnel then how is that ever going to have such an amazing impact for God’s glory? If I shared praise/good news that my mom had a successful surgery you would think “Great! Glad to hear it!”….but if you knew that her successful surgery came after years of severe headaches, a brain tumor, various previous surgeries, and becoming partially paralyzed…well now THAT changes your perception of that praise/blessing doesn’t it? A little bit bigger impact on you perhaps?

What God has shown me is that if He is going to use mine and Dan’s testimony for His glory then people need to know our testimony. As we all know, life isn’t all roses. God is gracious and God always provides just what we need (even when we don’t think we need that thorn in our side thank you very much ;) . You know what, sometimes the journey is not pretty and it’s not fun. It can be frustrating, confusing, disheartening, exhausting and everything in between. And yet in some of the hardest times we feel the need to put on this "I-must-always-be-strong" facade: nothing comes in, nothing goes out. You can't build true meaningful relationships from that. Sometimes I think as Christians (or even as people in general) we need to feel more comfortable being open, vulnerable and transparent with each other.

Transparency in the Bible

Throughout the Bible, the great men of faith are presented as men with the same longings as we have ... along with strengths and weaknesses (James 5:17). For example, it not only depicts Abraham as a friend of God but also as a liar who jeopardized his wife's virtue. The Apostle Paul shared freely about his past and his sense of unworthiness (1 Cor. 15:9; Eph. 3:8; 1 Tim. 1:15). Paul was not afraid to allow others to see him as he was. There is a (what you see is what you get) transparency about the individuals in the Bible. Yet many of us go around wearing a mask. Why are we afraid to let others know who we really are?

What does transparency look like?

Here are some definitions that I found: free from pretence (putting on a charade or mask) or deceit; characterized by honesty; authentic and real. Authentic? Hmm….goes right along with my pursuit for authenticity post here. To sum up all these definitions, transparency is removing the mask and revealing who you really are; it is getting beyond the surface to what is really going on in your heart.

Does it mean spilling your guts to every stranger you meet or using it as an excuse to be TOO honest with people about the way you feel about them? No! We still need to edit ourselves, be kind, and use good judgment/discretion. But what it may mean is that when Suzy at church asks you how you are doing maybe instead of being so quick to go into “auto” mode and give the standard “Good. Thanks” maybe you can open up just a bit and tell her “You know I am a bit frazzled (or) stressed (or) confused right now and your prayers would be greatly appreciated.” Let’s be honest with ourselves, and let people in. When people share with you their stumbles; when they share with you that they’re nothing but frailty and feebleness; and share with you that they are nothing without God. It drives you to think, “Wait a minute! God gave this to them? God brought them through this? If this is true, I know that there is hope for me!" Transparency can be good.

My Transparency

Some of the things I will be writing may be surprising, raw, emotional, or perhaps even familiar. It is reality and I don't want to be in "auto" mode anymore. My only hope is through Dan and I being transparent and sharing our struggles with you in some way whatever you are going through in your life you know that you are not alone. You are not the only one who has struggles. We all struggle (with a lot of the same things).

I do realize that blogging some very personal things may seem to some people like I am telling too much, or being too open. I understand I am taking a risk and facing possible rejection and judgment and I am completely at peace with that. I am at peace with it because I know that even if some people don’t understand me or what I am doing I know that God will use my story to help someone, to touch someone, to encourage someone. And even if it turns out to be just one person it is worth all of the things I have been through to know that I can be reaching someone for God and He is using me and my story to help them. I trust in that.

We have an awesome God that loves us, and is there for us even when we don’t feel Him near. Check out one of my favorite poems below about that very thing.

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during

the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one

set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

(Footprints in the sand by Mary Stevenson)

Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson, from original 1936 text, All rights reserved

Authenticity

It has been way too long since we have posted anything here on Living Hope, though it is not for lack of events, ideas, or thoughts. Honestly there have been so many times in our life the past nine months where I have thought…”this would make a great blog post” or “I should write about this”. Was it life’s busy moments or priorities that stopped me from following through? Sometimes…but in all honesty it has been a bit of procrastination because of fear; fear in opening up and allowing others into the details of our life.

It is so easy to do isn’t it? To convince yourself that no one is interested in your life and allow yourself to not (TRULY) open up? In all honestly it was God who has been convicting me of this for several months now. There have been key moments in my life He has been stirring these thoughts of “authenticity”. For a while I thought to myself… “I am authentic. I am who I am and I don’t pretend to be someone else, nor do I lie, or “humor” people. I am reliable and trustworthy…” so what’s this about Lord? I began this new journey questioning things I did and the decisions I was making based on this idea of being (more) authentic.

What God has helped me realize is that you can be a great person and at the same time not be living an intentionally authentic life. It can be so easy to try to please people, to fit others’ needs or expectations. We do what we think we need to do in order to live up to other’s expectations. We try to blend in, not “make waves”, and even sometimes ignore God’s leading in our life for fear of being outcast or ((gasp)) different! We don’t necessarily do this on purpose but maybe we are not confident and do not believe that there is anything unique or special about us. So how do we be more authentic? What if we all tried each day to see ourselves the way God sees us?

1 John 3:1 (NIV)

1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us,

that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

Luke 12:5-9 (NKJV)

6 “Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins?

And not one of them is forgotten before God.

7 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Each one of us is a child of God, for He loves us so much even the hairs on our head are numbered! Can you imagine numbering the hairs on your child (no, seriously)? Talk about love! We need to take time to see ourselves through God’s loving eyes with our beauty, our strengths, our potential, and all of the possibilities for us in this life. If we could see ourselves through God’s eyes and claim what He has for us and how He sees us we can live life with more hope, and less fear…thus making it easier to be authentic.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

God knows and sees when we are not being real (authentic). Not being real or authentic could be different things for different people but what it all comes down to is this:

Are you showing/being your true self (who God made you to be!)
in every sense of the word?

I have prayed long and often that God would guide me and give me clarity and an open heart to what He has been trying to teach me. The past few months I have had some situations (some of which you may hear of in future posts) that have helped me question, and confirm what God has for me and who He wants me to be in every situation in my life.

What God has helped me to understand is that even when I am faced with rejection and/or opposition I can stand firm in knowing that when I allow Him to direct my paths I can have the peace of knowing He will take care of those situations that are beyond my understanding.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV)

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

And lean not on your own understanding;

6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,

And He shall direct your paths.

And so the list of my personal authenticity begins….

                                                                  1. Follow Him!

                                                                  2. Live with LOVE! - - - > Blog post soon!

                                                                  3. Transparency! - - - > Blog post here!

Jesus wore his heart on his sleeve. It did not take long to figure out what was on his mind and in his heart. What about you? Will others have to wade through your false layers to find out who you (truly) are? Or, from their first encounter with you will they know they have met one of God’s best?

Remember....You are beautiful! .......

Quick & Easy Project #1 - Stuffed Animals

Project Time: 10 minutes
Project Budget: $5.00-$10.00

I will be the first to say that my children are absolute sweethearts and I am very grateful God blessed us. With that said anyone who has kids knows the lovely side effects of toys and stuffed animals strewn all over: Cars, action figures, books, dolls, etc. There are awesome bins and shelves, cubbies, or buckets for toys (we’ll go over toy organization in a future post!).

What do you do with the stuffed animal collection your kids seem to accumulate overnight?

Step 1 – Purging

Gather all of the stuffed animals and separate them with a keep pile and donate pile.

If your children are too young to understand and may get upset you may want to do this during naptime, or school. If age appropriate get your kids involved and explain to them they are going to be helping other kids feel special by donating some of their animals they don’t play with.

I will admit it, many times I have tried to weed out the collection but found many sentimental reasons to keep them (His “first” animal when he was born from uncle, first teddy from daddy, the bear from his hospital visit, etc.) . Strive for the rule of 1/3rd. If you can weed out at least 1/3 of the collection to donate you are doing great!
Where do the keepers go? More than likely you have a shelf, box, or possibly an animal hammock. The problem is most of the time if they are out of reach for your children to play with they are nothing more than dust collectors and that dust can be a health hazard to your child (breathing problems such as asthma or allergies). Maybe you keep them on a lower shelf within reach for playtime. This is what I tried to do and it ended up looking like this:

No matter how you try to sit them up all cute it ends up looking like a piled up mess. In my house with a preschooler and toddler having them on a shelf would last about 2 minutes and then they end up on the floor. There has got to be a way to contain these animals!

I am a big fan of using things outside of their intended purpose. It comes from a bit of creativity, but mostly from our family value of frugality. So here is my answer for getting those stuffed animals organized!

Step 2 – Supplies

A pair of scissors

A door (Most likely the back of the bedroom door)

An over-the-door shoe organizer!

Step 3 – Hang

I found the easiest thing to do was to first hang the shoe organizer on the door according to the directions. If your organizer has separate hooks (with the eyelets in the fabric as shown) you can also chose to hang it on the wall using nails or wall hooks.

(P.S. Those would be Mr. A2Z’s arms hanging the organizer for me while I was behind the camera ;)

Step 4– Cut

STOP!! – Read ALL of Steps 4 & 5 BEFORE you cut ALL pockets! :)

Open up the pockets by pulling the top part of each pocket out. We are going to create a strap or “seatbelt” for the animals to hang onto using the top part of each pocket. Take one hand pull out the top of one pocket and fold it in half, then with the other hand grab your scissors make a cut line below the top of the pocket about ¾ of the way to the back of the pocket. There you have it, your strap for the animal to hang in.

Step 5 – Strategy

Rather than doing all of the pockets at once and then placing the animals in the slots I suggest placing the (larger) animals as you go. If you cut all of the pockets into straps before placing the animals you may find that there are smaller animals that just won’t hang in the strap and may be better off just tucked into a pocket that has not been cut.

*Also, consider which pockets/straps your kids will be able to reach and place their favorite animals within reach. You can save the top pockets/straps for the more collectible/sentimental animals for more of a “display only”.

Step 6 – Complete

Place your remaining animals that are too small for slots in the empty/uncut pockets. (You can also use pockets for trinkets such as doll clothes, or dress up jewelry for girls, etc…the possibilities are endless!).

Voila! There you have it! Isn’t that adorable?!

…and look at how nice and clean our shelf is .. J

So there you have it! A creative fun way to organize and display all of your furry friends!

Bathroom Organization

Let’s face it, no matter what size home you have the bathroom is one of the smallest rooms in the house (not counting the wonderful closets of course). Think about everything you do in there (baths, teeth, hair, shaving, skin care, contacts, makeup, and the obvious other things I don’t need to mention). Now think about all of the “things” it takes to accomplish those tasks….where in the world do we put ALL of that STUFF?! I don’t know about you, but bathroom storage has never been optimal in any of my homes.

We all have done it. We all have had the bathroom counter full of the things we use every day strewn all over. We have had the open package of “spare” toilet paper on the side of the commode to prevent those caught in a pickle with no paper emergencies. Or, we have succumbed to the inconvenience of the so-called “storage” in our restrooms being unorganized and inconvenient, simply because that’s all we have.

Chances are you are sharing the bathroom with more than one person. Perhaps it is your spouse, or your children may share a bathroom with each other. Maybe you have a restroom that is used by family, but you would like to keep it “guest friendly”. Regardless of who uses it, the bathroom is where you begin and end your day. Yes, it is functional, but wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could make it comfortable (and maybe even relaxing!) as well? Why not find ways to help you feel less stress by creating an environment that is simple, clean, and even convenient?

There are many ways to get creative with your bathroom storage and organization, no matter what the size. Try these quick and stylish tips from my bathroom to help you organize:

I wanted something “decorative” to fill the blank space on one side of the counter since we only have one sink. I also wanted something to keep some of my daily use items handy, but out of sight. This decorative storage chest was the perfect solution!

 
 

We have a water closet (aka – room with nothing but the toilet) in our master bath = no room=no cabinets = no storage! Well you shouldn’t need to keep much in there, but what you do need in there, you want it to be handy, and available. We could have gotten one of those “TP holders” that is commonly sold in stores that sits on the floor. You know the ones that look like a giant cylinder with a lid? But I am not a fan of things on the floor, it bothers me. So, we opted for this great cabinet to go over the commode! The doors are great to hide that “emergency supply” and a couple of other items. On the shelf below I placed a plastic (flatware organizer) inside of a plant basket I had. Another great place to hide things but make them easily accessible!

By the way you may have noticed I hung pictures from the bottom of the cabinet on what is meant to be a towel rack. Since there is no sink in the room it would have been odd to hang a towel, so I got creative! If needed you could also hang more baskets or bins from the towel rack for more secret spots to hide your stuff.
When it comes to organization in tight places it is all about creativity. Function (or convenience) does NOT mean it can’t be organized, and pretty! Don’t be afraid to use things outside of their “intended” function and have fun with it. Before you know it you will have a convenient, organized, and peaceful place to start and end your day!

For more creative bathroom organizing ideas check out this article from BHG:

22 Bathroom Storage Ideas