Things have been feeling pretty good for us lately. We have had some answers to prayer that have been awesome, and we feel God working in our lives. It has been a great feeling considering the trials we have gone through for what seems like so long, and I have really been enjoying the answer to prayers. But the last couple of weeks have been rough for me. Recently there have been some situations that I have been in that have been awkward, confusing, and even painful.
Because each of these situations oddly brought back painful memories of my past I knew God was obviously trying to work me through something I didn’t know needed work. So I began to pray in each situation, each day “What do you want me to learn from this Lord?” It is a prayer I learned a long time ago that helps me work through what God is doing in my life. It opens my heart to what He is teaching me in these moments, rather than dwelling in the pain and asking “why me?”. So each day any time these moments of confusion, or pain would pop up I would stop, and I would pray…”what do I need to learn Lord?”. I can’t say that He answered me the way I expected Him to… or that His answer is even complete at this time. What I will say though is that He is absolutely at work in my life and answering my prayer, even if it is just one tiny bit at a time…and this is how…
I went to the Fry’s earlier this week to pick up a few last minute things for the holiday. Dan and I are coupon crazy people so I had my coupon book with me with some coupons for $5 and $6 off my order (and some others) and was waiting in line to check out. As I was waiting there, I saw all of the families shopping together, obviously for the holiday. Out of nowhere God inspired me to share. So, as I was waiting in line, I tapped a lady on the shoulder, and told her I wanted to give her a coupon, and to have a Happy Thanksgiving. She didn’t know what to think, took it, and said a meek “thank you”. That felt great! So, I did it again to the lady in the next line over…then again to the couple behind me. Each time the people looked so taken aback, and confused. I would tell them that I just wanted to share some of God’s blessings in my life and I hoped they had an awesome Thanksgiving. The reactions were priceless. You could tell each time that even as small as this gesture was, it was huge to them. It showed kindness, and maybe just maybe in a simple way they felt God’s love through me. By the time I walked out of the store after I checked out I was completely giddy!
From that moment on, things felt different to me. I didn’t feel like I was existing under this black cloud, or trying to swim out of a pool of sorrow. I was flying on top of the world, seeing things much clearer, and in such a positive light. The next couple of days I had were so simple, yet amazing to me. I watched a movie and colored with my 3-year-old Matty, tickled and read stories, and saw a beautiful sunset. Dan and I had fun re-decorating our living room, and we had an amazing visit with some old friends at our house as watched our boys play together. We listened to Christmas music, sang together in the car, and saw Christmas lights. I am more motivated to go out of my way to do things for my kids, and my husband because I want to, because it brings me joy…not just because I “have to”. Dan and I probably had tonight one of the best Thanksgivings we have ever had with family in a long time. All of these simple moments have brought me such joy and have made me feel so completely connected to God in a way that is even hard to describe. I am taking amazing joy in the little things that are so easy for all of us to take for granted.
I know without a doubt, that God is answering my prayer. Even through the awkward, confusing, and painful moments He is there. He has reminded me how life is not about what happens to you, or what you get from life. Life is about what you do for others, and what impact you can make in His name!
Usually around Thanksgiving I write letters to very special people that have impacted my life in very special ways. I didn’t do that this year. That is not to say that there are not some absolutely wonderful people that I am amazingly grateful for. It is to say that I am giving all of the Glory to who deserves it more than anyone, to our Lord and Savior. For without God, none of the blessings of people or things in our life are possible. Without God, our life is empty.
The song that has been inspired in my mind all week is a song I know very well. I sang it many times when I was part of the worship team at my last church, and it has a lot of memories. I don’t think it was an accident that God chose to inspire me with a song that I have a history with. I know that was God’s way of showing me that I need to be thankful for my past, as much as I am thankful for all of the blessings He has given us in the present. So I sit here on this Thanksgiving night, with this song not only in my mind, but in my heart as well.
Psalm 69:30 (NIV)
30 I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.
Tonight and every night I will give thanks, with a grateful heart.
Very beautiful post, and great song for the season!! You are beautiful Becca inside and out becaused of who you are and who you have decided to be with God in your life!! Love you!
ReplyDelete